He questioned me with a tone of dominance, asking “Do you believe in God?”
It was a known, yet somehow vaguely strange question to be asking. That too, as we sat waiting for the Arklow bound intercity, at Tara Street Station in Central Dublin.
An abrupt answer t’was indeed. “I believe in something.” And so here it is. This is my letter to “God”.
To the same “God”, that left a young mother mourning, at the passing of her newborn. A beautiful baby boy. Day by day, week by week, a baby blossoms. A first grasp, the calling out for a touch of safety, the warmth of his mother’s bosom.
Perhaps later than we think, but most certainly sooner than we desire. That is death. Knocking restlessly at the door of life. The umbilical cord; Knock. Knock. Knock. And then all at once, like the lion that devours the lamb; Traced its’ way along the baby’s innocent collar bones. Strangling softly into the darkness. Smothering, extinguishing every last hope of light. Cough. Splutter. Choke. And so here it is. This is my letter to “God”.
To the “God” who made us, the land and the seas. You see us at our most vulnerable, scared and tortured moments. They why, if I may ask; Why do you not end this charade of his ugly sins? A rattling, heartwrenching, true tale of a damsel in distress. Her body was like a temple, her words spoke prophecies. The daughter, the sister, the soul that he tore apart. And why, just why, do you not end this charade my Lord?
A tale of not just one, but of many, of many. Young and old. They are your daughters too. It is indeed quite sad that I have to remind you. And so here it is. This is my letter to “God”.
To the same Almighty that humanity fights for. To the same “God” that died for all our sins; To the same “God” that wrecked my faith through his own hypocrisy and unjust actions;
And one day when I breathe my last, I am not sure who to thank in this precious, yet heartbreaking journey of life; Nor am I aware of my next destination. But in this afflictive moment, I promise myself that I will not turn to any “God”. I will simply breathe my last. And so here it is. Plain and true from one of the most innocent, honest and broken corner of my heart. This is my letter to “God”.
©Sandra Maria Rison – @perfectinmyimperfecttales0714.wordpress.com